just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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