I smell stomach acid.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
