no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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