Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
