she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
