My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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