Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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