Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
