I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
