did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
