She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
