you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Someone came in the potted fern
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
