i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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