hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
