But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
