Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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