It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
