I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
