I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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