the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When are your genitals available?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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