I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
