AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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