Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
