Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
