is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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