I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
