You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
