Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
