I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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