Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
