lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
