Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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