Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
