Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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