That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
