its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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