There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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