can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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