I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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