Sponge bath it is.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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