you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
