he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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