I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
