She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
