We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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