I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
