Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dick very happy bro
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
