between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Alive.
So much puke
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
