oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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