Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
