the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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