I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
