i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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