i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
