it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
