Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
