lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's rum buckets o'clock
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
