dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
